Still in the race.


My beta last Wednesday at 12dp5dt was 977. Today one week later…?


Like…pipe the hell down little peanut. Let’s not be an overachiever here.

I am currently 5 weeks, 3 days. I am officially scheduled for a twat wand session next Friday, the 10th to try to see something resembling a heartbeat. Let’s call that Hurdle 3. I called my husband to tell him about the insanely increasing beta number and he asked when I would stop calling everything a hurdle. I told him not until there is a freaking baby coming out of me.

Side note: Google is the bane of my existence. I am currently living in fear that miscarriage is happening right now and I just don’t know it yet. Infertility has seriously robbed me of optimism and naivety. Most people pee on their stick and assume they are taking a baby home in 9 months. I, on the other hand, assume everything is going to go horribly horribly wrong until proven otherwise. I’m still not convinced IVF actually works for anyone.

Come on Hurdle 3.


10 thoughts on “Still in the race.

  1. I totally understand this, I imagine if this IVF cycle works I’ll be nervous until the baby actually arrives, because when do we actually get what we want, right??? It’s so depressing. I’m SO glad your numbers are good and can’t wait to hear how your scan goes.


  2. Amazing!!! The only way I could semi-cope with the what ifs is by celebrating each victory (hurdle jumped) as they come in. Of course there is so much fear and that actually never disappears – I’m nearly 19 weeks now and still have those fears every single bloody day! But they do ease off a little bit so just keep going. You are doing awesome!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Go go little embryo! Grow!

    I’m so happy for you. That’s a great result. I know what you mean about the pee on the stick thing. If I ever get pregnant again, I imagine I’ll be googling every little sign, terrified of what it means.

    Liked by 1 person

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