I’m going insane.

5 days post transfer and I’ve officially lost it. I’ve cycled between “THIS TOTALLY F-ING WORKED” and “This will be another massive failure” pretty much constantly over the last 5 days. I had some cramping off and on the first few days, but that’s pretty much gone now. No boob soreness that I read about all over the internet (yes, I’m currently living on google…it’s like I’m the sweet little fresh faced IVF newbie of yesteryear).

Just…nothing. I feel like I always feel. How is it freaking possible that all these little unicorns all over message boards are getting positive tests after 5 days? They are literally everywhere and I hate them (not really…but really).

On the one hand, not knowing is the worst. The absolute worst. But on the other hand, I somewhat enjoy holding onto the idea for another 4 days that this could be our chance. Our baby. Like, there’s nothing you can point to right now that says it definitively failed. So I still get to have that nugget of hope that this could be successful.

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6 thoughts on “I’m going insane.

  1. Oh man… I drove myself absolutely insane too. I tested on day 7 and it was so very faint and then it got more faint and I was convinced it was a chemical. I really wished I had stayed off bloody Google because I tortured myself for nothing! All the best as you sit out this awful wait.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Totally normal to be feeling insane at this point. I’ve had 3 positive transfers and all 3 I can safely say I had no symptoms at 5 days post transfer. In the non-IVF world you’d have no idea you were preggo at this point and you’d be downing cocktails and dancing the night away so do not panic yet. Symptoms – v mild ones – kicked in around the day or few days after my period was due so about 10 days or so post transfer. I usually didn’t do the home test until about 8 days past 5 day transfer and even then the line was quite weak. Good luck!

    Liked by 1 person

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