Zen has left the building.

Alright, who had day 3 as when I lose my shit? Anyone? Anyone?

Okay, slight exaggeration. But today is the first day I’ve cried and officially begun to lose optimism about IVF #2.

Got the day 3 update and we still have 5 excellent embryos, 1 average, and 3 below average. The other 2 never fertilized so they were discarded. This time last cycle we had 8 excellent and 3 average and we only ended up with 2 blastocysts, both of which were failures. So…basically we’re fucked. If we only have 1 or 2 embryos again on day 5, we’ll opt out of PGS because it isn’t worth the $2,500 to only test 1 or 2. They’ll call again on Tuesday to let me know if any are still worth keeping.

So…the extra $1,000 of meds and the 3 months of vitamins/supplements have done precisely DICK and I can’t fucking handle this right now.

In other news, our 5 year wedding anniversary was yesterday. So…yay!


7 thoughts on “Zen has left the building.

  1. It’s still early! You could get 2-3 blastocysts and that would be worth it! We had PGS for both my retrievals, 2 made it to blastocyst each time but the first retrieval one of them was discarded because PGS said it was abnormal. Hang in there and see what happens!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Happy anniversary!! Personally if it were me I would opt for the ERA instead of the PGS if it were a cost consideration… but FYI I just found out that my health insurance actually covers ERA at 80% (Blue Cross) because it’s considered a diagnostic tool, so you might look into that… girl throw everything you have at this… and I know what you mean about losing one’s shit early on. Baby I’m the queen! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • Why thank you, it was a lovely evening! We opened up a bottle of whiskey we got in Ireland on our honeymoon that we’d bee saving! I told the embryologist under no circumstances were they to do any biopsy until talking to me or my husband on Tuesday even though we pre-paid for PGS. She seemed really confused but finally wrote it down.


  3. Ah, man. It’s so frustrating.

    I have done the vitamins, accupuncture, yoga, you name it and my results also didn’t do much better.

    Then I gave up, went on the worst diet and routine ever and BAM. Perfect egg that cycle.


    Hopefully, you’re cycle turns around. Happy Anniversary!


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