Who am I?

So many many years ago (okay like 8), an old boyfriend introduced me to Reddit. It has involved quite a bit over the years. I discovered the infertility subreddit months ago and it has tremendously helped me to cope. It’s a bunch of people that aren’t afraid to be pissed off and bitter about their situations. I’ve never actually registered on the site, but I read it daily.

So today I see this thread: Who are you outside of your infertility?

“We are more than just IF. Who are you outside of your infertility?”

That’s an EXCELLENT question. And honestly, I’ve somewhat forgotten. I feel like my entire persona the last 10 months has been wrapped up in infertility, and I used to be so much more.

I am a tax accountant, a CPA. I knit (I even happily make baby blankets for my damn fertile friends). I was a dancer from the ages of 2 to 18 and it still brings me so much joy to stand at a barre and hear the piano start to play. When I have spare time, I help a dance studio owning friend teach dance classes. I maintain that you haven’t lived until you’ve tried to corral a room full of 5 year olds in tap shoes. My husband and I have 2 dogs that are probably the purest form of love I’ve ever experienced. I’m in a book club and love it. My drink of choice is whiskey (Irish to be exact). I was bitten by the travel bug years ago, and together my husband and I have travelled to 4 different countries and 15 states over the last 6 years. I dabble in photography and have been known to still use my father’s old camera leftover from the 70s. I can quote every line of Mean Girls verbatim and will use lines from it in my daily life.

So. That’s me. I know she’s still in there somewhere and I hope she comes out again.

So….who are you?


2 thoughts on “Who am I?

  1. I loved reading that! I know in my own blog I got so all-consumed by everything infertility related for a while that it really took a concerted effort to blog about anything else, and I’d love to hear more of us folks talking about the rest of our lives and what brings us joy and what else defines us.

    Especially love hearing you identify as a dancer – so do I, although my love was jazz (ended in high school after two really bad stress fractures)…we used to teach workshops to little ones as well 🙂 My own movies would be Grease, the first movie I ever saw in the theater (my family used to tease me about how, at the age of 4, I got up and danced in the aisles I loved it so much, haha), and The Jerk, as I’m a sucker (as is my husband) for classic Steve Martin. Scotch for me, although I don’t remember the last time I had a nice glass with all this infertility stuff keeping me off of it…so last night my husband made us poached pears with a couple teaspoons of Scotch mixed in the syrup with butter…so worth it 🙂

    Keep writing – you’ve got a great voice! And hell, without you I wouldn’t go into the ultrasounds without thinking the term ‘twat wand’ 🙂


  2. Hope your old “she” comes out soon! Life is too short to not be ourselves outside of this infertility. Focus on the positives of being able to do certain things you wouldn’t be able to do while pregnant or with kids.


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