Amazing how the potential life altering choices don’t go away when you take time away from the madness before starting FET prep, isn’t it?
I finally let my husband in on all of the insanity that has been swirling around in my head for the last few weeks since cycle #1 was a bust. It was really good for us. I let out all my fears and I ugly cried and he just held me. Good job, smart guy.
After breaking the news that the transfer wasn’t successful, my RE mentioned something I hadn’t even thought of. She asked if we had ever talked seriously about if we wanted more than 1 child in the future. Because, say we do the FET and (yay!) it works. I’m thrilled, yay baby. But logistically…that will be the only child we’d ever have. You’ve got the 9 months of pregnancy, then I’m sure I won’t even be thinking of another baby for at least a year. That’s almost 2 years before we’d even consider another round of IVF for baby #2. I’ll be 33 at that point, still youngish but we all know that sooner is better than later at this point. My egg quality is only going to go downhill from here. The absolutely highest count my husband’s SA ever produced was 300,000. In 2 years, there will likely be nothing left to work with. So if we seriously hope to have more than 1 biological child, it’s really in our best interest to skip the FET and go straight through to another full blown IVF cycle with the intent of banking more embryos. It feels wrong to be planning our second kid when we haven’t even secured the first yet but logically, I know it’s something to think about.
Now let’s add onto this pile of shit the fact that my husband basically has flat out said he has no intention of returning to this RE for another full cycle should we have to do one. He feels like with the money we paid, we weren’t given the best service. Stupid little things weren’t told to us and they all start adding up. Like, the day of the transfer, no one told me I needed a full bladder. And during the embryo hunger games, no one told me until day 3 that oh BY THE FUCKING WAY “our lab average is that 20% will make it from day 3 to day 5.” Yeah. Maybe should have mentioned that before, would have saved me quite a bit of false hope. The few other people I’ve talked to that have gone through IVF in the DFW area were horrified by that statistic. These ladies all have 5-10 embryos frozen while my RE acted like I should be super pumped that we only got 2/12 to day 5. There are a few more, those are just a few examples. Little things on their own, but when you start adding them up, it’s like well, if they didn’t mention these things, what else did they not mention that maybe could have contributed to the failure?
So. To recap. Husband = awesome dude to fall apart in front of. We have to decide if we want multiple kids before we even have one. And I don’t know how to go about finding a new RE or how to fire my current one should it come to that.
I’m so happy I can drink again.