I am not a patient woman.

Who knew? Okay I did. But seriously. How has science not got its shit together enough yet to not make us wait nearly two weeks after an embryo transfer to see if we’re pregnant?? It’s like Schrödinger’s Fetus up in here. I am simultaneously pregnant and not pregnant at the same time.

I had the transfer on Monday. It’s Friday. I seriously wish I could just sedate myself until my blood test on Wednesday just so I could shut my mind up. The first three days were fairly continuous cramping, sort of like period cramps, but more intense. It’s calmed down today, I think I’ve only felt a twinge or two. Which of course sends my thought process directly to IT DIDN’T WORK. My boobs hurts, but that’s probably the progesterone. We’ve told our group of people that knows we’re doing IVF that we froze both embryos. Our (okay MY) thought process was that if/when the first transfer fails, we have time to get our shit together mentally to start again without having to constantly answer people’s questions on if it worked the first time, no matter how well meaning they are.

Nothing exciting here lately. Just continuing to take nightly estrace and baby aspirin along with a lovely little PIO shot. Hoo boy, those are fun. Although I think I had psyched myself up about them so much that they are truly NOT as bad as I thought they would be. I don’t ice or heat beforehand, I warm up the bottle by putting it in a mug of hot water for about 5 minutes, then I take all weight off the leg of the side we’re injecting.

The first night was kind of funny. My husband had never injected anyone before and didn’t think it’d be hard because (and I quote) “You’ve been stabbing yourself every night for 2 weeks and if you can do it, I can do it.” WELL WELL WELL. He must have stood there, eye level with my ass, for a good 10 minutes psyching himself up to just do it. He was shaking afterwards and I gave him a big hug and kiss and told him he did great. He’s gotten more confident as we’ve gone on. He said he now understood my complete meltdown the night of my first stim shots.

I AM VINDICATED. 

And also really. freaking. impatient.

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3 thoughts on “I am not a patient woman.

  1. I’m not going to be one of those peppy optimists, but I will say that I’ve never had three solid days of cramping after any of my unsuccessful transfers. The first three days are when implantation happens and everything after that is it burrowing in further, so hey you never know…! 🙂

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    • I’ve been torn between being cautiously optimistic that this could have worked and wanting to beat myself up for being dumb enough to mistake period cramps and leftover discomfort from the retrieval/transfer for a successful transfer. Of course that nasty bitch google tells me I should have experienced implantation bleeding and should be nauseous and exhausted…and I didn’t and I’m not. So who knows. I should probably stay off google, if only to maintain the facade of sanity for the next few days!

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      • Yep, I know what you mean. On my first cycle I had a “twinge” and was mistakenly gleeful the rest of the day. Then I had spontaneous O’s in my sleep which are – for real – also on the symptom list but…alas, those were just parting gifts.

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