The odds are not in our favor.

I’m really rolling with the Hunger Games comparisons aren’t I? Day 4 embryologist update and I am just…done…emotionally. I have no optimism left to fake at this point.

From 8 “excellent” and 3 “average” yesterday, we are down to 1 “beautiful” morula that they will transfer tomorrow, and 1 early blastocyst that will most likely get frozen. All the others are lagging behind and will most likely be lost to us. From 12 at retrieval to 2. A whopping 15% survival rate. Yeah. Given all of this information, and the fact that we are just that unlucky, I’m thinking parenthood ain’t happening for us.

My husband is still optimistic that we still have 2 chances, although he’s definitely shaken up. I’m already at the “fuck this” stage. I know the odds. They’re shit. Time to start mentally preparing myself to be the fun aunt to everyone else’s kids, because we can’t afford to do all of this again. I can’t spend yet another $16,000.

I know I’m being emotional and dramatic. I know this. I apologize to everyone out there rolling their eyes at me. I’m sure I’ll look back on this some day and laugh at how emo I’m being.

Well. Shit.



9 thoughts on “The odds are not in our favor.

  1. You’re not being emo at all, you’re believe it or not totally normal. This shit sucks. This morning I decided embryos are like stock options – they could turn out to be worth a lot or could be lame ass powerball tickets.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Bad days seem to be happening all around. My post today had to have had the word fuck in it 20+ times. I won’t tell you to relax or calm down, because I KNOW, and it’s a load of shit. Your blogger friends are here to support you. So I’ll keep your little XMen in my thoughts, and hope that they fight as hard as Katniss.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you 🙂 Hopefully the 2 X-men we’ve got can keep their shit together long enough to make it to tomorrow! It’s been an emotional afternoon. The initial shock has worn off and I’m coming to (angrily) accept it all.


    • I keep telling myself that 1 is better than none and 2 is better than 1, it’s just hard to be super optimistic right now! We’ll see how the next 2 weeks go…I’m sure it’ll be super fun and stress free 😉

      Liked by 1 person

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