Grow you little X-men, grow.

When we spoke yesterday, the embryologist said she would call again on Saturday to update me on the magnificent 7. So when I looked at my phone and saw the lab calling this morning…I was legitimately terrified. SO MANY THOUGHTS ran through my head and every single one of them was bad.

Turns out? Surprisingly good update. Two more embryos decided to join the party last night, so we’ve got 9 going at the moment. 5 are currently rated “Good to excellent” in her words, which she said was the highest quality for their lab. A few others are lagging behind, but are still definite possibilities for transfer or freezing. Of course, we’re only in day 2 and so much can change. I figure statistically we’ve got a change at having 3-4 make it to the end. Which would be amazing. But as long as we get one, I would be reasonably happy, if a bit (okay, a lot) disappointed.

We’re still aiming for a Monday, day 5 transfer. The newest question is…how many do we transfer? Assuming we get more than one of course. The RE was very adamant that she did not want to put in more than one at a time for me. I’m 31 and my only known issue is mild hypothyroidism. So there’s no real fertility issue on my end. She says that putting two in won’t do much to increase my odds of getting pregnant, but it will increase my odds of multiples. I was fine with 1, I figure if anyone knew best, it was this lady.

Until today. We found out yesterday through a random well-timed facebook posting, that an old friend of my husband’s is going through her 4th FET to try to have their second child (baby #1 happened on their first cycle!). They reconnected a bit and have been talking about IVF and the whole process (which is great, because he has had NO ONE to process all this with but me). And she’s put it in his head that EVERYONE transfers 2 every time, no matter what doctors say, because it increases your odds. So now he’s pushing for 2.

It’s so hard to decide this. I mean, I don’t think we have the money to go through the full cycle of IVF again with stims and retrieval and ICSI. We’re at about $16,000 after meds. I’m kind of thinking that whatever embryos we get from this cycle…these are our only chances at a child that’s genetically ours. Say we only get 4…if we transfer two at a time that’s only two tries before we have to turn to adoption. She had 10 blastocysts to freeze, which we will flat out never have the luxury of having.

I guess I’m getting ahead of myself because we aren’t even at day 5 yet. For all I know, our 9 embryos will all say screw this, I’m out. Or we’ll only have 1, meaning I’ve been freaking out about all this for nothing.

I miss the days when my hardest decision was deciding between the Rainbow Brite and Strawberry Shortcake backpack.

Oh…the title of this post? Mr. Oh Just Relax has taken to calling our embryos “future X-men” – I’m not entirely sure why, something to do with them being mutants with superpowers since they’re being grown in a lab, but it makes him happy, and I like that.


3 thoughts on “Grow you little X-men, grow.

  1. We transferred one each time for the first three cycles and while we’ve been unsuccessful so far, we have no regrets. The ultimate thing is this: if you transfer two, and get twins, do you want twins? Or if not, are you open to selective reduction? (We are, and found a clinic who isn’t weird about it, which is why for our 4th and final try we’re transferring two.) And with twins comes a high-risk pregnancy, both for you and for the chance of delivering preemies – is that something you’re open to (and do you know how much of this your insurance will cover if so? Some insurance plans are not great with this and it can cost tens of thousands)?

    If none of these are a definite yes, transfer one. All I can say is do NOT make a decision based on one being cheaper/faster/efficient – make the decision as prospective parents. Don’t look at it as “two for the price of one” – look at it objectively as what you and your husband want and can truly handle.

    My understanding is a lot of countries in Europe no longer even allow transferring more than one at a time because of the risk to both mother and babies. As far as the odds go, transferring two will always give you better odds than one for obvious reasons – you’re transferring more than one and therefore speeding up seeing what works. (The actual *having * two in there doesn’t make you implant easier, it’s just a simple numbers game).

    One thing I read a lot on as well is that embryologists’ rating of embryos are incredibly subjective as they are based primarily on visual, so “grade A” or “excellent” rated embryos are no guarantee. PGS can help analyze quality much better since implantation usually doesn’t happen because of chromosomal abnormalities, but the uterus has got to be receptive in so many ways to make it happen as well. Seems like a f*cking magic formula the more I read about how this stuff works, I know…oy!

    Hopefully this is encouraging thought and not sounding Negative Nellie. Keep breathing and trust your instincts…this needs to be your decision and not your doctor’s.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Very encouraging, I promise! I need to hear these things because I am soooo way beyond my realm of knowledge here. I was all on board with 1 until my husband started questioning it. Guess we have some super fun conversations in the next 2 days to look forward to!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. That’s exciting that your number of embryos went up!

    As far as how many embryos to transfer its a big decision. My husband and I have talked about it a lot before we came to a decision. If you put in 2, you have to be happy with having twins. If that terrifies you and you really don’t want twins, then I think you have your answer. Good luck!

    Liked by 1 person

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