Can I GoFundMe this crap?

Let’s talk money.

Oh good lord, the money.

Before we left our first appointment, the RE made sure we had in hand a packet of financial information detailing exactly how much we would be paying for the privilege of trying to science a baby into existence. Almost a month later and I’m still reeling from this packet. My insurance covers absolutely nothing related to infertility treatment. Not even medication. Out of pocket IVF with ICSI at my clinic is about $15,000 with meds. PGS testing is another $4-5K should we choose to go that route. And there’s not even a guarantee that at the end of this shitshow, we’ll have a baby to remind us of how much it was worth it. I keep hearing over and over that IVF Round 1 is usually “diagnostic” to see how you react to the process. That I should just assume it will take 3-4. My husband is one of those freaks of nature that naturally maintains a ridiculously positive outlook while staring down terrible odds. God, I hate him. Not really. But you know. He keeps telling me that if I go into this thinking it will fail, then it will.

But it’s not so simple. I have to let myself be realistic. I’ve always said that hope is the most dangerous drug of all. The more you hope, the harder the crash down to reality is when something goes wrong.

Clearly, the glass is always half empty and waiting for more liquor in my book.

We’re lucky enough to be able to pay for this round. But if we have to do more? Not so simple. At what point do we throw in the towel and start researching adoption, which comes with its own ridiculous price tag?

Then I also have to think, who on earth would want us to adopt their kid? I work ridiculous hours 4 months out of the year. My husband will be 37 by the time any of this gets decided and there’s definitely an age bias. We have a pitbull (who is awesome btw). We have a pool at our house. We aren’t religious AT ALL, which in Texas basically means we are Satanists. On paper, I can’t see anyone picking us.

So…do we just be child free NOT by choice? Do we go into debt trying to bring home a baby (either via IVF or adoption) which is basically THE most expensive life choice you can make? Side note: I am so insanely jealous of every person out there that got pregnant for free.

So. Many. F-ing. Questions.

And I can’t answer a single one right now. Because fuck you, infertility.

Advertisements

6 thoughts on “Can I GoFundMe this crap?

      • When I was considering infant adoption, I looked at an agency that served the LGBT and non-religious community. I got the recommendation from those who were atheists and wanting to adopt. It was out of state though. Does Texas have anything like that?

        Like

  1. We are lucky because we had coverage for the medication for our first round of IVF. It still cost us $10,000 for this cycle. It is incredibly unfair that some of us have to pay to have a baby.

    I figure I took out a loan for a car. Why not for a baby? Since we were told we didn’t have a whole lot of time we decided to get a huge increase to our line of credit and pay it down as fast as we can. We are basically poor forever now. But at the end of the day, its just money. I want a baby more than I want money in my savings account.

    Like

    • Lucky! I know if it came down to it, my parents would loan us the money. I’m such a debt averse person though, that it’s hard to wrap my head around how much this is costing with no way of knowing if it’ll ever pay off. Of course if it DOES work, I know I won’t care about what it cost to get us that kid!

      Like

      • Yes my parents have offered to help too. I just don’t want to take money from them. I would rather deal with it myself. After a couple rounds I will likely be willing to reconsider.

        Its hard when there are no guarantees!

        Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s